In a previous post I alluded to the fact that I have stumbled painfully a couple of times recently; once outside some friends’ house and then again up some steps at Rugby station. I assure you that despite the rumours, on neither occasion had much alcohol been involved (although my recycling bin this week may suggest otherwise – post PhD party…). Instead I suppose I was just a bit careless, and ending up bruising my knees and later bruising my bruises which was perhaps worse. You so often see children with bruised knees that you forget how painful it can be – although I was grateful that I wasn’t more frail and didn’t break a hip or something much more serious. Perhaps it should be summed up as a combination of bruised ego and a reminder of my vulnerability when up against concrete/ a railway sleeper. Anyway, antiseptic cream with local anaesthetic was my friend.
I guess there is a related vulnerability or putting yourself out there when you fall for someone romantically as well – at least if you let them know. The song in my head having chosen this title for the blog is a song from the Pretty Woman soundtrack – Fallen by Lauren Wood. There’s something in there about not looking for someone and then it just happening. Like one of those tales put about by old wives (maybe they should know) that you’ll meet the perfect guy once you stop looking. While I don’t think desperation is ever attractive, I can’t say that stopping looking has so far increased my success in meeting Mr Right.
I do manage to fall for the guys who aren’t interested in me though; usually after a period of getting to know them well and specifically (in a few cases) while house-sharing. There’s something about proximity and familiarity that means even a guy I found unattractive at first becomes much more appealing as I get to know him. I guess this is an argument for arranged marriages and not being so picky but I don’t feel inclined to take it that far. I think some characters on tv become more appealing as you get to know them as well. How else could Hugh Laurie have left behind Prince George to turn a grumpy doctor into a sex symbol?
Hopefully the proximity and familiarity effect helps most people love their children and other family members as well, even those who might seem less cute or appealing to a more objective observer. When a child bruises her knee she needs someone to pick her up and help it feel better, even if she was doing something stupid to cause the fall. The sad thing is when a child will hurt herself deliberately just to get some attention – something I witnessed too regularly when I worked in a children’s home. Another young lad there would lash out at staff just to be held securely – he couldn’t say he needed a hug and so got violent instead. I guess a hug would have helped when I fell on the recent occasions too – but I have to let off my neighbour as he doesn’t know me that well yet. If he reads this he might be afraid to get too close but he and my other nice married friends can rest assured – I only fall near married men, not for them. I managed not to hug the stranger at Rugby station who handed in my bus and train pass when they fell out my pocket as I fell on the stairs too, but I was very grateful.
Falling on my knees before God (or lowering myself gently at the moment) seems pretty appropriate, in fact something I should do more often. I am hoping that spending more time getting to know Him will increase my love for Him as well. I know that improving my relationship with God is more important than finding a good man, even though God knows I’d like one. Sometimes I really do need a hug – especially when I’ve tripped up or been stupid or got too carried away with some romantic storyline in a book or film or tv programme. Strictly Come Dancing, House and even Pride and Prejudice may not always be the most encouraging viewing/reading. In contrast, if I look to Him he can lift me up when I stumble. He’s actually able to keep me from falling in the first place (Jude).